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Supporting someone at university with their wellbeing

Learn how to support someone at university with their wellbeing, recognise when they may need additional support, and know how to encourage them to access the right support as a family member, guardian/carer or friend.

Stay connected

Regular contact can provide reassurance and a sense of connection, particularly during periods of change or difficulty. There is no single right way to stay in touch.

You might find it helpful to: 

  • Agree together how often and in what way they would like you to stay in touch. This may be through regular messages, phone calls or video calls.
  • Keep conversations open and supportive, rather than focusing only on whether everything is going well.
  • Ask about their wider experience of university, including how they are settling in, their relationships, accommodation, studies and day-to-day life.
  • Remember that small gestures of connection can matter. A message, letter or reminder that you are thinking of them can provide reassurance without requiring them to respond immediately.
  • Encourage activities that help them rest, relax and feel connected to themselves, including hobbies, exercise, and socialising.

Listen and talk

If someone tells you they are finding things difficult, one of the most helpful things you can do is listen. Try to give them space to talk about their experience without immediately trying to problem-solve.

You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes simply feeling heard and understood can help someone begin to make sense of what they are experiencing and consider their next steps.

It can help to:

  • Listen carefully to what they are saying and what seems most important to them. 
  • Acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if you see the situation differently. 
  • Reflect what you are hearing back to them, for example: “It sounds as though things are feeling overwhelming at the moment” or “It sounds like you have been feeling quite anxious and alone.” 
  • Avoid minimising their experience with comments such as “Just get on with it”, “Everyone feels like that” or “I'm sure it will be fine tomorrow.”
  • Ask what they feel would be most helpful right now.

If you’re concerned about their mental health

Changes in someone's mood, behaviour or communication can sometimes indicate that they are experiencing difficulties. You may notice that they seem unusually withdrawn, overwhelmed, hopeless, anxious or disconnected from things that would normally matter to them. 

Try not to rely on any single sign. Instead, consider whether there has been a noticeable or sustained change and whether they appear to be struggling to manage day-to-day life.

If you are concerned: 

  • Make time to check in with them and ask directly how they are doing.
  • Listen calmly and avoid expressing panic or judgement, even if what they tell you is difficult to hear.
  • Ask whether they feel safe.
  • Encourage them to speak with someone they trust and access appropriate support.
  • Discuss who they could contact locally at the University or in their accommodation if they became distressed or needed immediate help.
  • Consider agreeing how you will stay in touch during a particularly difficult period.
  • Encourage them to register with a doctor, particularly if they are experiencing ongoing mental health difficulties or need medical support.
  • Where appropriate, you might also discuss a simple plan for difficult times: who they can contact, where they can go, what usually helps and how they can access urgent support.

If you’re worried that someone may be at immediate risk of harm or danger, or if there is an immediate threat to their safety, call the emergency services on 999 or find out what to do in an emergency.

Finding the right support

The University of Leeds offers a range of services and resources to support students with their wellbeing, mental health, studies and wider university experience.

If you’re not sure what help might be the most appropriate for the person you’re supporting, encourage them to speak with a member of staff at the Student Information Service to discuss their options.

You don’t need to have all the answers or know which service is best to offer support. Sometimes, simply listening, letting them know you care and encouraging them to explore the support available can make a real difference. They don’t need to have everything worked out before reaching out, and you can seek advice from the University if you’re concerned about them. 

Available support services

Depending on the situation, students may be supported by:

When someone doesn’t want to engage

It can be particularly difficult when you are worried about someone who does not want to talk, rejects support or stops responding to messages. Try to remain calm and keep communication open. Let them know that you are concerned because you care about them, rather than making them feel pressured or monitored.

You might say: “You don't have to tell me everything, but I've noticed that you don't seem yourself, and I'm concerned about you. I'm here to listen, and we can think together about what might help.”

Raising concerns with the University

Wherever possible, it’s helpful to encourage the student to engage with support and make contact themselves. However, if you have serious concerns for their safety and wellbeing and they are reluctant to seek help or you’re unable to contact them, you do not need the student’s permission to pass on information about a concern. The University can receive information from parents, families and supporters, although the University may be limited in what can be shared with you in return.

Depending on the student’s circumstances, you could contact:

  • accommodation staff if the student lives in University halls of residence. This might include Residence Life Assistants (RLAs) or the Warden, who can offer guidance and help identify appropriate next steps.
  • their School Student Support Team, who might be able to support you in gaining advice and guidance from the Student Wellbeing Team. Find out how to contact their school.
  • the Student Information Service, who can help you identify the appropriate University team or route for raising a concern. Contact the Student Information Service.

If you believe the student or someone else is in immediate danger, contact the emergency services.

Confidentiality and information sharing

Most students are adults and have a right to privacy and confidentiality. The University will not normally share personal information about a student, including details of any support they may be receiving, without their permission. 

However, confidentiality does not prevent you from contacting the University to share information or raise concerns. Information you provide may help the University understand the situation and consider whether further support or action is appropriate. 

In exceptional circumstances, information may be shared without a student’s consent, for example where there are serious concerns about their safety or the safety of others, or where there is another significant legal or safeguarding reason to do so. The University will seek to balance student autonomy, privacy, wellbeing and safety when considering what action is appropriate. 

Supporting someone while looking after yourself

Supporting someone you care about can be emotionally demanding. You may feel worried, frustrated, helpless or uncertain about what you should do, particularly when you are not physically close to them, or they are reluctant to accept support.

Remember that you are not expected to manage the situation alone or become their counsellor. It is okay to seek advice, talk to someone you trust, and take steps to protect your own wellbeing and boundaries.

You can continue to offer care and encouragement while recognising that the student may need time to feel ready and engage. Helping them understand the different sources of support available and seeking advice yourself when you are concerned can be valuable steps towards helping them access the support they need.

Support and guidance