Ask an expert for advice
Explore advice pieces and blogs written by our experts that address common questions and misconceptions about sexual violence, consent and how to show up against sexual violence when you see it.
Got a question of your own about consent or sexual violence? If there's something you're not quite sure of, or you want advice on, submit your question to be answered by our team of experts and it will be published here. Advice pieces and blogs will continue to be added, so make sure to check back regularly.
Advice – consent
How do I tell my friends I hate being hugged?
It’s very normal for everyone to have different boundaries and reactions when thinking about their physical space. Feeling uncomfortable about things you feel forced to engage with, like hugging, is not overreacting or dramatic... Continue reading ‘How do I tell my friends I hate being hugged?’
How drunk is ‘too drunk’ to consent?
It’s understandable that questions come up around consent when we’re drunk. So, it’s important to feel confident in our understanding so we can enjoy consensual, safe, fun sex... Continue reading ‘How drunk is “too drunk” to consent?’
How do I handle rejection?
Sometimes an encounter can go differently to how we expected it to and that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel a little embarrassed or awkward, you’re only human! But remember that everyone always has the right to say ‘no’ and they don’t need to explain why... Continue reading ‘How do I handle rejection?’
Can I change my mind halfway through sex?
It’s completely normal and okay to change your mind, whether you’re halfway through something or haven’t even started yet. A key part of consent is being able to communicate what you want and if, how and when you want it... Continue reading ‘Can I change my mind halfway through sex?’
Do you need to say ‘yes’ every time you have sex?
It’s often tricky to work out how you should obtain consent. Things are heating up and you don’t want to ruin the mood by asking ‘can I have sex with you?’ Firstly, if you don’t want to have sex, or kiss someone, or hold hands, it’s okay (and very much encouraged) to say ‘no’... Continue reading ‘Do you need to say “yes” every time you have sex?’
How can I talk to my kids about consent?
Consent is an important part of all healthy relationships in our lives and matters to everybody — not just adults. Talking to children about consent might feel nerve-wracking or uncomfortable at first, but there are lots of opportunities to have conversations in a way that they will understand… Continue reading 'How can I talk to my kids about consent?'.
Advice – showing up
How can I stay safe whilst showing up for my friend?
Whilst it’s important to look after our friends and others in our community when they are in dangerous situations, it can be difficult to know the best course of action. A useful way to decide how you can best show up for others is by using the 5 Ds. These are: Direct, Distract, Delay, Delegate, and Document… Continue reading ‘How can I stay safe whilst showing up for my friend?’
Is it wrong to rate my date?
It’s perfectly normal to talk to friends about our sexual experiences, but how we talk about people and the language we use matters. Thinking and talking about a person in a way that objectifies and degrades them, like rating them on a number scale, isn’t okay… Continue reading ‘Is it wrong to rate my date?’
How do I tell my friends their dark humour isn’t funny?
Having serious conversations with your friends can be difficult. When we disagree with someone we’re close to, we sometimes don’t feel like we can speak up. It’s scary, but it’s important to communicate your feelings, set your boundaries, and call others out when you don’t agree with them… Continue reading ‘How do I tell my friends their dark humour isn’t funny?’
How do I show up for a friend at work?
It’s great that you are there to support your friend as it can be a difficult conversation to approach. Showing up for your friend is even just reassuring them that they aren’t on their own and they can speak to you. Continue reading ‘How do I show up for a friend at work?’
How can I help a friend who was abused as a child?
Supporting someone who has experienced abuse, violence, harassment, discrimination or bullying of any kind can feel daunting. To support your friend, you don’t have to be an expert — there are some key-ways you can help, and we are here to help you every step of the way... Continue reading 'How can I help a friend who was abused as a child?'.
Blogs
Explore our longer reads to hear from different people in our Leeds community discussing why sexual violence is everybody’s issue, the impact it can have, the teams who are here to support you, and more.
Showing up against sexual violence: The people at Leeds here to help
There are lots of people at our University who care deeply about this issue and who hold a promise to stand together and advocate for change in our community. We invite you to join us, support us, and use our resources to make campus a safer and more inclusive space for all students… Continue reading ‘Showing up against sexual violence: The people at Leeds here to help’
Sexual violence is just about men’s behaviour… Right?
“Most sexual assault in the UK is perpetrated by men, so preventing it is up to them, not me. Right?” Sexual assault affects people of all genders — 1 in 4 women and 1 in 18 men… Continue reading ‘Sexual violence is just about men’s behaviour… Right?